Another Uber-Epic Saturday in the Ghetto

So last night was pretty interesting. I actually had to retreat into the apartment, which is usually the opposite of what I would prefer to do after being here all day. But we had company of sorts, Mama Dee and she was all liquored up. I am all for enjoying yourself after work, having a few drinks and even the occasional smoke. But Mama dee was for lack of a better word "Hammered". And the rollercoaster of her emotions was too much, so I let Chelle take point and handle Mama Dee. Two words: bad move. I went inside to watch TV and beg the headache that had developed from my primary exposure to Mama Dee to subside. It seemed like an eternity before I saw Chelle again, and when I did I knew just from the looks she gave me just to keep my lid closed for a while.
(If you choose to get buzzed, think about doing it in the privacy of your own home)
So I have enjoyed the peacefulness of today. I got to wake up beside the most beautiful woman in the world, drink coffee with her and even help pack her lunch today. Shortly after she left I went grocery shopping, washed and hung out clothes, made the hummingbirds new food, cleaned out the fridge, changed the bed linens, did the dishes, and vacuumed the apartment. I would rather be at work, but my employers won't allow me to return until my doctor's release me and they know for sure that I do not have to have surgery on my collarbaone which refuses to go back into place. I have a new respect for the spouse who stays at home and manages the household. You can get pretty bored living at either Lowe's foods, the clothesline, or the other end of the vacuum cleaner. Sometimes I have actually wanted the company of kids just to have some one to interact with. One day.
Things have been pretty decent lately, I only have to flip on the TV and watch a few minutes of the news on Iraq and Afgahnistan and know it could be so much worse. Life is mysterious, times change for people in the strangest manner. Sometimes you are ready, other times you are not. I just hope for those who read this they have some one to talk these things over with. Some one who knows them like no other. Some one who can help you make since of yourself. For me that person is Chelle, and I strive to do the same for her. In so many ways our lives, so seperate and different have moulded us to be perfect matches for one another. When I am able, I want to run with her again, arms flailing, until we collapse. And lying there in the cool grass, I will kiss her neck and face and tell her how much I trully love her.

Oh Happy Sunday

Sunday is here. Chelle just left for work, now another day as the house-wife begins. I really enjoy it sometimes, although I would rather be at work too. I forgot to take my medicine last night before I went to bed and my shoulder is really being a bother this morning.
Last night for dinner I cooked Chicken and cheesy potato casserole with green beans and collard greens. Yum. I love to cook for Chelle. Whenever she cooks I always feel her eyes on me as I take my first bite out of each portion of the meal, probably to see the reaction on my face to. whatever wonderful meal she has concocted. She is so thoughtful.
Today will be the same as every day since I have been out of work. Clean the house, wash the clothes, water the flowers, and go to the grocery store. thinking of stopping by and visiting my Dad. Dread doing that sometimes, my Dad has this Peter Pan complex. He is almost 50 years old, but still spends his free time, and I mean all his free time, playing PS2 and toking up. It's always a great reminder of why I should strive to go forward. I love him for who he is, I gave up a long time ago on expecting anything really deep or emotional from him. One thing I can say about Chelle is that she always tries to get to the bottom of a problem, identify it's roots in my past, and find a solution. It's kinda like we are each other's therapists, and how many relationships are you involved that make you a better person?
Whenever this wonderful love affair first began, Chelle would send my quotes from this awesome book she has. I didn't know the origin's at first, and I was enamored with the way she knew exactly what needed to be said. It was like our hearts were crying out to one another, and secretly we desperately wanted to hold one another, and it kept us up late many nights until we finally succumbed to the desire in our hearts. I want to pinch myself someitmes, I have to be dreaming. I thought I knew what true love was, and honestly I did not. Another thing that we had in common was our love of music. We don't watch TV, instead we listen to CD's or Yahoo! Launchcast. It's so crazy because the same songs I have enjoyed my whole life she has in her heart too. I read in a book two days ago a statement that says it better than I can. The book is the Alchemist and you should defintiely read it. Any-ways, the saying is "whenever you want something, the whole universe conspires into helping you achieve it". There were a myriad of things that happened between Chelle and I that were just like that. Like the Magic Eight Ball saying "all signs point to yes". It's undeniable. I once told her we were like a million coincidences at once, and it has held true. In a few short months we have developed such a knowledge of another, we can ask each other for things without even saying a word now. I wish that everyone could find that in their lifetime.
Something else is pressing at my brain this morning, and I feel compared to share it. I can be my own worst enemy. I have lived my life so scared of change, afraid to grow, and let my past hold me back from that which I am trully capable of. It doesn't have to be this way for anyone. Learn to forgive those whom you feel have wronged you. A quote shared between Chelle and I said that in forgiving some-one you set them free, only to realize that is was you who was holding yourself prisoner. Reinhold Neibuhr, who wrote the Serenity Prayer, said "forgiveness is the final form of love". The world would be a much better place if everyone would learn to forgive and accept people for who they are.

Once Upon A Time

My first post, I don't know where to begin. My true companion, Chelle, is the one who told me about this site. I was a little wary at first, but thought what the heck. I love to share, it is through other's experiences that sometimes we can learn about our own selves. It's funny to me how I can pour myself into a page on the infromation superhighway, and yet sometimes stumble when in the company of others. So maybe this will be my way of being an "internet Rambo", to let my true self out for the whole world to see. There really is so much that has happened in such a short span this year, that part of me wants to tell the whole wide web, and at the same time periodically I can look back as well and think about where I am going and where I have been.
So, a little about myself. I am 30, currently recovering from a motorcycle accident in which I broke 5 ribs, my collarbone, and tore my right hamstring. I live in Sanford, North Carolina with my one true love, a former farmer, painter, tri-athlete who has changed everything I ever thought I knew about love. I spend my days pushing myself to get better, taking care of our apartment, and more times than not feel as though I am falling for her over and over again. I cannot speak about myself and not talk of her, she challenges me to be better than what I thought myself capable of. From the moment I laid eyes on her I knew my life would never be the same. But, I digress. We want to go to college in the fall, which is fast approaching. We spend our nights cooking together, talking, laughing, loving like it's the last day on Earth. If you would have told me at the beginning of this year that ik would be where I am right now I would have laughed in your face. Now I cannot imagine a moment without her in my heart. On the day of my accident, when they were strapping me to a gurney and hooking up the IV's it was her that my heart and my mouth cried out for.
Whenever we first started this journey were both so scared. We wouldn't see each other in private, but would text each other back and forth into the wee hours of the night. It was then that I knew she was something special, no other woman knew her own heart so well, or was so curious about mine. I kept telling myself that this isn't happening, that I was wrong in the assumption that something was happening between us. I never pushed, I waited for her, as I always will :).
Gotta run for now, Chelle's at work and I have shopping to do and clothes to wash. Being the good house-wife and all. Oh I can't wait for my body to heal.