Thursday in the apartment complex. Mama Dee has yet to emerge from her apartment this morning, Brandon is still sleeping so I am trying to finish all the things that keep me from being downstairs and in their path. Don't get me wrong, they are good people. But some days I can't even take out the trash without someone "borrowing" a cigarette, using my phone at least twice, and needing a ride somewhere into town that I am not going to get any gas money for. Whenever we loan them something as simple as a cake pan or soup pot it is like getting your wisdom teeth, all four, pulled at once trying to get whatever it is returned. The last cake pan we loaned out came back two weeks later scratched all to hell, rusted, and still in need of being washed. But everyone is in hiding today, too bad it won't last. I sometimes wonder how they make it, I have never understood how people can have a job with no transportation, or live based on the assumption that somewhere in the 18 apartments is whatever you are going to need from the store. So why bother buying cigarettes or food when your neighbors will for you?
I am really one to talk, being out of work as long as I have been. If it weren't for Chelle I would have jumped off the railing a long time ago, or at least drove down the highway 100 miles an hour blindfolded in the wrong direction. She always tells me she knows I would do the same for her, and she's right. Given the chance I want to spend the rest of my days on this flying ball of dirt showing her just how right she is. That's what love is. We have an unspoken connection between us that transcends words, sometimes I wonder how I could have ever told any other woman I love her when it never felt like this. She used to tell me how overused those three words are and she is right. But she is always right, which can get to be too much at times. that brings out my competitive side, hiding in the conversation like a snake in the grass waiting for my time to strike like a cobra.
We are so bad together though. Some one on the local news died after trying to dive into a lake after their cell phone. Not funny, except we both broke into laughter after she started flailing her arms around and saying "Oh, I can't swim but I have to get my phone". I told her I thought we both were going to burn in Hell for stuff like that. We both have a dry, sarcastic sense of humor, it's one of the many reasons we get along so well. I have never laughed, or cried with, some one like this before. My emotions, like my heart, stayed well behind the walls I spent my life building. Then came Chelle, with her tremendous heart and understanding, and all my walls crumbled. Her favorite song, Irreplaceable, fits where we are now, everything that happens with us seems so natural and in tune with what should be. I never question where this journey is going to lead, I am too busy enjoying the trip itself.